Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Forcing your teenage daughter towards abortion comparable to circumcision?

At work today, two of my colleagues (who we'll name X and Y ) and I engaged in a conversation that went from lively to heated very quickly. It doesn't help that one of them and myself have very strong characters and opinions.

We started talking about a case that happened recently to a 14 year old girl. she became pregnant by a man 10 years her senior. We exchanged opinions about why we thought it was wrong and action that will be brought against this man. One of them mentioned that girls nowadays are simply too mature, and some downright seduce older men, but it was generally agreed that although this may be the case, the adult should have had the sense and responsibility to say no and walk away.

The topic then turned to that if X's teenage daughter ever came home with the news that she was pregnant, he'd knock some sense into her and then take her himself to get an abortion, whether she wants it or not. This is where my fuse blew. Before you think this is a post about pro or anti for either sides, it's not. It's about another person's body and making decisions for that person's body, especially decision that have long-term effects (whichever choice they make)

X argued that since the child is a minor and lives under his roof and his rules, the girl may not get pregnant or carry it to term. This immediately pulled my heart strings because I myself was in a similar situation being a pregnant teen under my parents' roof. It didn't help either that he expressed himself with such anger and obscenity. True, being the parent of a pregnant teen is by no means a walk in the park, but it's not a death sentence either.

The argument ensued, and because of personal experience and opinions ( and a bit of hormones too) I could not reason with an unreasonable person and keep my cool any longer so I got up and left before my anger got the best of me. It got me to thinking though. The first comparison that popped up in my mind was circumcision.

How is forcing your teenage daughter to get an abortion regardless for their feelings etc much like circumcision? For one simple reason. IT'S.NOT.YOUR.BODY.

You think circumcision is o.k.? Please leave now, it's not o.k.

Have you any clue what kind of short and longterm effects circumcision has on a baby? I'm against it for all reasons, and also because it's not his choice. Which baby will ask you to chop off a chunk of his junk? Few men would, and I doubt any little boys would jump at the chance.

Not going in to the pros and cons of abortion the fact remains is that it holds long lasting consequences for the mother carrying the baby. Not just physical, but also psychological and emotional consequences. Imagine that the young mother did in fact want to keep the baby and do her utmost to raise it, how could you look your daughter in the eye with pure anger and outrage and dare lift a finger against her? How could you deny her wishes and forcefully carry her to have such an invasive procedure? I can't seem to comprehend it, and I don't think I want to either. All things aside, It's not your body, and it's not your choice.

Congratulations Wit Gele Kruis for teaching about bottle feeding

Nothing pisses me off more than seeing expectant parents joining a highly attended general childbirth education class and them holding a doll and a bottle. WHY?!

Usually, I shrug it off not wanting to cause a stir, but not this time. This time I'm pissed.

I also give breastfeeding classes, and I've attended other childbirth education classes before, have I ever seen a bottle present? Have I ever taught with a bottle present? Absolutely not. It is not necessary, it's actually counterproductive and detrimental.

When I was gazing through our most popular online media site, this is what I see. Headlines that state :

"Wit Gele Kruis cu Curso pa Futuro Mayornan"

 or for my English speaking friends,

"Childbirth Education classes for expectant parents brought to you by the White and Yellow Cross"   
Eagerly I peered through the pictures and to my dismay (and yet somehow I'm not surprised) I see this picture.

This isn't the highest quality picture, but what do you reasonably think that mother is holding? A doll and a? BOTTLE

I've taught many a breastfeeding classes and attended many myself, and yet, when you're teaching a mother about breastfeeding, where does the bottle fit in? I am outraged because instead of reinforcing a stereotype that 'breastfeeding is normal', they are showing and passing around bottles. I don't care if they're pretending those bottles have EBM (expressed breast milk) in them, these are expectant parents, they don't need to be taught about bottle feeding before the opportunity to breastfeed presents itself.

How can we ever go forward if one of the biggest organizations that help our expectant and breastfeeding mothers on Aruba (and see 95% of all babies) is working (unknowingly?) against us?